Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron

Most people dream of a world at peace with as little war as possible.  In our country now a lot of political action is in gear to decrease gun violence.  The sheer number of individuals in our country alone injured or killed by guns overwhelms us.

Pema Chodron demonstrates how each of us individually can find peace in our own lives through patience and letting go.  She believes that if each individual works toward finding the path to peace in their lives the whole world will move toward that path.  Her posturing for giving up attachment and being with the moment as it is resembles a Zen way of thinking.

She also encourages individuals to stay with whatever they're actually feeling rather than trying to push it away or run from it.  By staying with what we are feeling she argues that we'll be less in its grip.  Pema points out that meditation offers a way to practice being with what is happening in the moment.

Just reading this short treatise on practicing peace slowed me down and added to my sense of well-being.  This might be useful reading for anyone hoping to manage conflict calmly.  In a short concise manner Pema draws a picture of what living well together as humans might look like.  

Happy Valentine's Day! Ah, but you may think that romance and libraries don't mix well at all yet here is whole book about the phenomenon! Begun as a website (now seemingly dormant) the many true stories gathered online were easily converted into this handy volume.

And Madeleine has organized these tales into a wide range of categories, with chapters of little vignettes by real people (though often using pseudonyms).

You can read about love blooming:

*  at the reference desk

* in library school

* at library conferences

* in public libraries (of course!)

and even on bookmobiles [blush!] and something called "Interlibrary Romance"!

Now, everyone sing along with that classic Jimmy Buffett number:

"Love in the library, quiet and cool

Love in the library, there are no rules

Surrounded by stories surreal and sublime

 I fell in love in the library once upon a time.

 
I was the pirate and she was the queen

Sir Francis and Elizabeth the best there's ever been

Then she strolled past my table and stopped at the stairs

 Then sent me a smile as she reached for Flaubert..."

She left behind several friends from childhood, summer camp, and college, and although she's happy in her recent marriage, misses having close girlfriends to talk and hang out with.  Hubby Matt just isn't the type to watch chick flicks and go out for a mani-pedi together. So what does she do?  She embarks on a mission to find some new BFFs.  This involves finding and girl-dating a new potential friend each week of the year, quite a big proposition.  But Rachel takes on the challenge with enthusiasm:  from enrolling in cooking classes, book groups, improv workshops, and even signing up for friend-dating services, she makes this her primary goal. 

As she details her friend dating experiences, she also informs readers of the value of friendships in improving quality and longevity of life, including many health and psychological benefits. In her research, she discovers that men and women have very different friendship styles, and that relying on your mate for all your emotional needs is not fulfilling for many women.  She's lucky that her husband supports and encourages her to find her new friends (as long as they're girls, not guys!)  In the end, Rachel goes out on 52 friend dates, meets over 100 new people, and considers that she's made over 20 new friends in the process.  In order to do this, she realized she had to open herself up to all kinds of new experiences, and also the possiblity of rejection, which certainly happened. 

I don't think I would have the energy and "chutzpah" to engage in such a single-minded effort to meet and date women in order to find some new friends.  I started to get exhausted just reading about Rachel's extreme efforts in her quest for friendship. I realized I value my own "alone" time too much to be so busy, constantly socializing. But reading about her ideas and techniques could inspire you to start your own search for some new friends.  You just need to be willing to take the time and energy to try.  

Yet, as my children grew older, reading aloud together somehow ended. They could read on their own, and they stopped asking for reading time together. Thus ended the cozy bedtime snuggles over storybooks.

Alice Ozma and her father kept reading aloud together for much longer, as I discovered in The Reading Promise .  Alice (whose pen name is derived from her favorite characters, Alice of Wonderland fame, and Ozma of Oz) made a pact with her dad when she was in fourth grade.  She and her dad, a school librarian, promised to read aloud together for 100 nights in a row.  They found they couldn't imagine stopping, and the 100 days turned into a reading streak that lasted eight years, and only ended when Alice went off to college.  Alice then told her story at the age of 22, in her first published book. 

Her story is a remarkable memoir of her connection to her father through words and books, and the lasting impact that made on each of their lives.  I was especially moved by the final chapter of the story, in which her dad's work as a school librarian is jeopardized by the school administration's decision to undercut the importance of books and reading in the library.  Alice's memoir struck such a chord among book lovers that it has become a rallying cry for the importance of reading, and reading aloud, for children, families, and indeed for everyone. 

Visit Alice's website http://makeareadingpromise.com/ to find out more about the Reading Promise and how to start your own reading streak! 

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie

 How happy could we be if we learned to love things just as they are?  So much of frustration in life is wishing and dreaming for things or people to be different.  Byron Katie has a website about what she calls "The Work".  Her theory is that any frustration in life can be turned around by examining a statement about it with four questions.

In her book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life she introduces this concept.  She shows how most of our unhappiness comes from beliefs that aren't based on the truth.  So for example if someone said, "My boss doesn't like me."  he/she would examine this belief with the following four questions to ask themselves:  1.  Is it true?  2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?  4. Who would you be without that thought?

In many ways she's creating a path to peace of mind similar to the Zen path.  Byron Katie further demonstrates this concept by showing various individuals going through this process and finding ways to free their minds from these thoughts.  If you read this book and like it she's written several other popular titles that expand on this basic idea. 

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz

In our society there seems to be a collective ache for civility and integrity in our politics, workplaces, and homes.  Yet we're deluged with examples of just the opposite.  Whether it's a talk show radio host degrading women or a governor pedaling influence, we wonder how to teach our children integrity and civility with adults behaving badly.

Don Miguel Ruiz comes from a Mexican family with a long tradition as healers.  He actually became a surgeon as an adult.  Then he had a near death experience that pushed him to re-examine his beliefs.  In his book The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom he shares an ancient code of conduct from his Toltec ancestors.

The four agreements he lists are basically four rules for living a happy, peaceful life. Be impeccable with your word.  Don't make assumptions. Don't take anything personally.  Always do your best.  For each agreement he expands on what the impact of carrying it out in one's personal life would look like.

There are a plethora of excellent self-help and spiritual books out there, but this is one of the easiest and simplest to follow.  Imagine if politicians, government officials, corporate executives, ministers, mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts etc. followed these guidelines.  For inspiration and hope Ruiz lays it out pretty simply.

Born in Southern Sudan to a loving, middle class family, Alek Weklived simply and happily in the company of her family.When civil war broke out between Southern rebels and a pro-Muslim government in Sudan, Alek and her family were forced to become refugees, leaving their home in order to escape same fate of the millions that were killed during the war.Eventually and with great difficulty, Alek and her family were able to secure refugee status in London. It was in London that Alek was "discovered" by a scout, but the road to becoming supermodel was a difficult one for Alek.If she did land modeling jobs at all, it was often to portray the "exotic black African" woman. Alekquickly grew tired ofrejections from editors and photographers based on the color of her skin. With the help ofher tenacious agent, Alek began put pressure on the industry to trulychangestandardimages of beauty.Today we know Alek as a famoussupermodel, but she is also a cultural hero and a survivor. Read more about Alek's amazing story inAlek:My life from Sudanese Refugee to International Supermodel]]> http://blogs.kcls.org/booktalk/2011/12/alek-my-life-from-sudanese-ref.html http://blogs.kcls.org/booktalk/2011/12/alek-my-life-from-sudanese-ref.html Inspirational Memoir & Biography Alek Wek refugee Sudan supermodel Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:56:44 -0800

This Is Not the Life I Ordered : 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging you Down by Deborah C. Stephens

Most people experience difficulty in life. Sometimes it seems that one person gets more than their fair share. Almost everyone gets more than they want. In This is Not the Life I Ordered, the four authorsdescribed really tough challenges they faced such as losing a spouse at a young age, getting shot on a tarmac in South America, and facing cancer.

Even though their lives were tough they discovered some tools for gaining courage. One of these was to meet monthly around a kitchen table. In sharing their worries they eased them a bit, gained courage, and shared helpful ideas.

One of the main ideas that runs through the book is when a person gets caught in feelings of "woe is me" if he/she takes action they're less likely to get mired in negative feelings. Wit, humor, and spunk permeate the narrative. These women also encourage everyone to live with a sense of gratitude.

After they describe their process for forming a group and working through problems, they give tips to others for starting their own group. They suggest exercises to be done as a groupand ideas for journaling. For anyone wanting tips for making it through tough times with dignity and grace this is an excellent guide.

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"Sum"took my breath away. These brief vignettes describe potential scenarios for the afterlife. Eagleman superbly creates forty, independent, highly imaginative possibilities for our future afterwe die.In one story, the molecules from the human body transcend the universe after leaving the human body. In another, all sinners reach heaven, while the saints are frustrated and perplexed. Rather than debating the merits of a higher being, some of these stories include some version of God, some don't. He describes how our spirits could live on in the memory of others, and how our current view of "reality" may be a cosmic optical illusion.

One of my favorite stories has you re-living your life in themed chunks after death, including spending6 days clipping your nails, and 6 weeks waiting for a green light.

Eagleman is a neuroscientist by day, and his blend of science and imagination make for vivid reading. He is able to build complete and complex theories of alternative universes in the space of two or three pages. This is no small feat for any author. This is a stunning look at the possibilities of the unknown.

That's kind of what Unstuff: Making Room in Your Life for What Really Matters by Hayley and Michael DiMarco is all about: examining your life from many angles and figuring out why we've collected such an over abundance of stuff in our lives. And then how to get rid of it.

The duo, who are authors that own a small publishing company, set out in a motor home for three months. They wanted to find out how little "stuff" they could live with and thereby enrich areas of their lives that were too stuffed to enjoy. The chapters examine financial stuff, emotional stuff, physical stuff and more, and how they learned to happily live with less.

But what makes this book somewhat different from other declutter books is that is comes from a biblical perspective. The authors use scripture as a basis for and to illustrate many of their ideas. Freeing yourself to be more pleasing to God is one of their main arguments for "unstuffing." They believe that the more people focus on themselves and the acquisition of stuff, the less time they have for their family and friends, their church and community, and for play and for prayer.
If your desk, your bookshelf or your life is feeling over-cluttered and you are seeking encouragement, this may be the book you are looking for.