Growing Pains

Author Meg Rosoff is no stranger to deeply intense stories about young adults trying to find their way through difficult and often extraordinary circumstances.  Her latest book, What I Was, is no exception. 

The story begins with H., our narrator, who is 100 years old and very near the end of his life, but we quickly enter the real story: H.'s formative year at an isolated boarding school.  Feeling trapped by monotonous days filled with the harsh, self-imposed hierarchies and cruelty of adolescent boys, H. spends most of his days alternately dodging beatings and avoiding the only other classmate less popular than himself.  The tedium of his existence is broken only by glimpses of a mysterious boy who lives alone in a small shack by the sea.  Driven by curiosity and the need for companionship, H. ditches his classmates during a mandatory run on the beach and knocks on the door of the shack to meet the boy, who calls himself Finn.  The two enter a tentative friendship that is easily and frequently derailed. H. quickly becomes obsessed with Finn and his life of freedom and spends most of his time plotting his next trip to the hut in what seems an effort to fully consume Finn's life and make it his own.

Although this story is framed within the nostalgic memories of a dying man, nearly all of the novel takes place during H.'s time at St. Oswold's Boarding School.  The narrator's struggle for independence within the parameters of the world that have been given to him are starkly contrasted with the freedom he sees in Finn's life and the narrator's obsession with both is true and honest.  H.'s actions in the later part of the book are especially poignant and reveal the longing of a young man trying to establish himself in a world he is reluctantly forced to inhabit.  And while H. either can't recognize or admit to himself the depth of his feelings for Finn, the reader will see them for what they are: love.

This is one of the most beautifully written novels I've read all year. Rosoff is precise and economical with her language and the story is simply told in a manner that is pithy yet very lyrical.  The sense of place in this book is simply incredible; much of the story takes place at the ocean and, as the pages are turned, the reader is alternately transported to cold damp beaches, barren landscapes and the cozy yet uneasy confines of Finn's beach hut.  As a coming of age tale, this novel succeeds spectacularly as it explores the complicated thoughts and emotions of two boys on the fringes of society.  This is a sophisticated work with much depth and those looking for an unusual coming of age tale will not be disappointed. 

(This book is equally wonderful on audio, so give it a try if you need something for your commute!)